INTRODUCTION

As a parent, you might find yourself worrying about all the risky behaviors that your child might engage in and whether you have any influence on the choices that your child makes. Rest assured, healthy risk taking is normal, and there are many ways you can increase the likelihood that your child will engage in healthy risk taking and avoid unhealthy risk taking. Let’s explore what we mean by healthy and unhealthy risk taking, why children take risks, and what you as a parent can do to support your child.

WHAT IS RISK TAKING AND IS RISK TAKING NORMAL?

Risk taking is a normal part of child development.1 Children are more likely to take risks than adults because different parts of their brain are maturing at different times. The part of the brain in charge of self-regulation and thinking through consequences matures later than the part of the brain that is impulsive and reactive.2 So, it is natural that teenagers will engage in behaviors that result in an adult saying, “What were you thinking?” Risk taking is about a teen finding out who they are and exploring the boundaries that exist. Risk taking is not about a teen being rebellious. Risk taking is an essential part of identity development.

WHAT CAN I DO TO SUPPORT HEALTHY RISK TAKING?

Healthy risk taking can build confidence and help teach natural consequences. Unfortunately, without guidance, teens can take risks that result in serious and long-term consequences. Examples of these risks are substance use, speeding, unprotected sex, and texting while driving. There are several ways you can support healthy risk taking in your child.

1. Provide healthy options and alternatives
   Providing teens with healthy options for risk taking provides the thrill that is being sought with minimal negative consequences.2Healthy risk taking can reduce the likelihood of unhealthy risk taking. Examples of healthy risk taking include:

   • roller coasters, thrill rides, and indoor rock climbing,

   • running for office at school, trying out for team or a play,

   • trying new activities, even as a family or with a group,

   • meeting new people, joining a club, or volunteering, and

   • any activities that create excitement without the potential for unhealthy consequences.

   1. Model and label positive behavior Your behavior influences your child. Discuss with your child the positive behaviors you choose and why. If you take a risk that you do not want your child to take, acknowledge it (“I realize that I just drove in an aggressive manner. It was risky and I put us in harm’s way”). Apologize for the decisions, and talk with your child about why it was risky and why you regret doing it, and why you will make a difference choice next time.

   2. Talk with your child about risk taking and healthy decision making
      Have ongoing conversations with your child about risks, healthy and unhealthy risk taking, and the potential consequences. Make sure the conversation is a dialogue and not a lecture.

      • Engage your child in a conversation and hear their point of view.

        • “In the movie we just watched, what did you think of the decisions the main character made?”

        • “When your friends ask you to do something you are not comfortable doing, how do you handle it?”

        • “I am struggling to understand the decision you made. Can you help me get a better sense of what went into your decision?”

   3. Develop deep social support systems Research suggests that the wider the range of social support available to a teen (parents, family, friends), the less likely the teen is to engage in unhealthy risk-taking behaviors.3 Involve your child in your community and support healthy relationships between your child and the social support around you. Social support systems can include:

      • friends,

      • relatives,

      • faith communities,

      • after-school activities,

      • sports leagues, etc.

   4. Grow family connectedness to reduce risk taking
      When children feel connected to their families, the likelihood of making poor choices and taking unhealthy risks diminishes.4Family connectedness means feeling a part of the family. You can create this by

      • involving your child in decision making,

      • setting rules and expectations, and

      • by sharing about their day over a meal.

Involve your child in family decisions and rule setting. This might sound like:

1. “What are some ideas you have about what we should do today?”

   1. “I have some thoughts about curfew times, but I want to hear your thoughts before making a decision.”

   2. “Let’s create this chore list together.”

2. Monitor your child and stay involved with them
   Parent monitoring and parent involvement appears to have a positive influence on healthy risk taking among adolescents.5 Know where your child is. Check if they are where they say they will be. It can be as a simple as a phone call or text to your child – “Hi honey, just checking to see how things are going” or a phone call or text to the parents of the friend they are with – “Hi, just checking to see how my child is doing at your house.” Stay involved in their lives, know their friends, and know their friend’s parents. Work hard to develop trust in your relationship and look for opportunities to show that you trust your child. Their perception of parental trust acts as a deterrent to unhealthy risk taking.6

CONCLUSION

Risk taking is a normal part of development, and risk-taking behavior increases from childhood into adolescence before it decreases in adulthood. This change in risk-taking behavior correlates with changes in the brain where the thinking and self-regulating parts of the brain must catch up with the impulsive and emotional parts of the brain. During this time, you have considerable influence over whether your child chooses to engage in healthy or unhealthy risk taking. Several strategies such as providing healthy options, modeling positive behavior, talking with your child, developing a social support system, maintaining a sense of family connectedness, monitoring, and staying involved can help to support healthy risk taking in your child.

References

Center for Health and Safety Culture. (2019). Healthy Risk Taking. Retrieved from https://www.ParentingMontana.org.